Scrapbooking as Therapy

On a school morning, not that long ago, I had some issues getting Cole off the computer. Transitions have been particularly tricky lately and this day was a prime example. Even so, his outburst caught me off guard and rattled me more than usual.

Neither the quiet drive back home nor the scenic-yet-heart-pumping dog walk afterwards could calm me down. There was a layout brewing in my troubled, shaken mind. I had a title, I had tidbits of the journaling. I did not have the sketch mapped out, but I knew there had to be paint and ink and I wanted my hands coated in both before it was done.

I made the scalloped borders with my Cricut (the actual cartridge, I'm unsure of at the moment). I thought they looked a little like rainbows. So I misted them with rainbow colours, but made sure they were in splotches instead of long, symmetrical ribbons. I felt this represented my mood, and autism in general, more accurately. The hand started out as a sideways fist, as if it were pounding on the wall, but that didn't show up too well.

I left the journaling to the end. Originally, I wanted to write directly onto the page and use 1/3 to 1/2 of the page for it. Yes, I had that much to say. But all of the inking, painting, misting, the mess and the creating focused and refined what I needed to say. Using the journaling cards allowed me to use a stamp I have that my broken rainbows reminded me of, "Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms." And just like that my tone and perspective changed:

I goofed up, slacked off a bit. It happens.

He freaked out. It happens. Sometimes it happens even when he's given ample time and warning.

Really, it comes down to having the tools to cope; sure-fire ways to stay calm or calm down and release the tension, anger, frustration, disappointment and all-around deflated self-worth. I, for one, have a few tricks up my sleeve. Music helps, walking is good, but it's my problem solving hobbies that wield the most success lately, and that would be gardening and scrapbooking. The messier the better.

Yes, I called scrapbooking a problem solving hobby. You have a message, a moment in time, maybe some pictures. You want to put them all together, make them look pretty, make them tell a story. How are you going to achieve this goal? Therein lies the problem to be solved.

Often, I don't scrap about whatever is bothering me. There is just this unspoken need to take some quiet time where I can create, get messy and make something pretty. Other times, it is about literally working through whatever my troubles are. Either way, I find it very therapeutic and very necessary. I won't even try to sell it as being cheaper than traditional therapy. I'm not truly convinced that it is. But it is far more satisfying for me!

Just to clarify, I don't often talk about Cole's autism. He was diagnosed as mild-to-moderate autistic and I know our struggles are equally mild compared to what many other parents have to face. So I try not to whine and complain, but I do need to work on admitting that while it could be a lot tougher, what I go through sometimes is pretty tough all the same.

Keeping perspective is key to me. Autism explains his behaviour at times, it is not to blame and it does not solely define him as a person. Neither will it define me as a parent.

Oh yes. I have, on occasion, given the finger right back to autism!